The sickness is a thing of the past, but the 15,000-word-long freelance project I took on for February is still in the present, at least for a couple more days. Maybe by then it will be spring and the world’s surface will return to normal again, and it’ll be just like those nice maps and globes where all the wet parts are clearly marked blue, and the beige parts are dry enough to walk on and are not some filthy medley of concrete and puddle and mud and total LUMPY ICEFUCK. Yes, that is the scientific term, “lumpy icefuck,” for the lumpy fucking exoskeleton of ice that covers the ground this time of year. Lately, whenever my car is parked on the left side of the street, and thus with the driver’s side next to the parkway/expanse-of-lumpy-icefuck, I have to stagger across like a drunken sea hag and then try to fall softly against the side of my car. Ugh.
I need to interrupt this rant to point out that I will be doing this Interview Show at the Hideout on Friday at 6:30. I will sit on a couch and Mark Bazer will interview me and it will be funny but maybe also thoughtful! I will get drink tickets. You will probably be able to tell I get drink tickets! Please come!
Okay, back to hating the ground. And late winter. And laundry, and overheated rooms, and drafty rooms, and sidewalk salt in places that are not sidewalks, and FOX Network, and the City of Chicago for having only a pretend recycling program, and people who call themselves “foodies,” and faux new wave, and being too tired to hate all the things that deserve to be hated, because DAMMIT.