It was Sunday morning and there was a solid chocolate bunny. “You go first,” said Chris. So I bit the ears off. When I was younger I had certain rules regarding the ethical treatment of candy animals but this time I didn’t even snap the head off until after Chris had chomped the feet off and handed it back to me. I ate the head and passed it to Chris. Chris took another bite from his site and passed it back to me. It was a Dove bunny and it tasted holy. Then it tasted whole-milky, which of course is still really freaking good. By the fourth or fifth bite it was humming with sugar, and eating it was a little like tasting a 9-volt battery, a very very very very very delicious battery.
Around that time I whispered, “Should we stop?” Only half the bunny was gone. We were getting to the part of the bunny where you really have to gnaw. It was only going to get uglier from here. We ran into the kitchen and buried the carcass in the trash. “Oh God, hurry,” I heard myself saying. That was our Easter.
I’m finally beginning to accept all this almost-springnessâ€”even though it’s cold out there is sunlight and birdie noises and vague bits of green in the trees, and I’ll take that. I’ve stopped waiting for the sixty-degree weather to come back. I get it, Spring: you are a big flake. Maybe I’ll just start riding my bike anyway.
Some of you saw this map thingy I put up on Flickr a few weeks ago, where I traced a bicycle route to work using as much of the local off-road trail system as possible. It’s too far to do every day, but I can’t believe how much I want to try it. I bought a bike about three years ago but I never quite got the hang of riding. It’s a lot different from the way things were back when I was twelve and was way more scared of drugs (hello, I had just read Go Ask Alice) than traffic. But I think the trails nearby will be a good place to start, plus my legs might be stronger than they used to be, since I’ve been doing Weights & Hates since November, and all those (hateful) squats and lunges (of loathing) have to be good for something, right? That’s what I hope at least.
You Chicago people are going to come see me judge at the Spelling Bee at the Book Cellar this Friday, right? (Bonus: find the spelling error in that listing!) You Boston people are going to come see me and Jami and Janice and Hallelujah the Hills at the Great Scott NEXT Friday, yes? Good.
*Does anyone remember that book? And how it was made into a TV movie? With Shelley Long? Playing a woman with 92 personalities? Chris did not know until I told him and then it was like Christmas morning.