1.) YES THERE IS MORE SOUP. You can see the soup here. We made three kinds this weekend, including a recipe which uses two pounds of greens. And while it tastes very nice, maybe you donâ€™t need to see a picture of this soup, because itâ€™s really, really green. And not a jolly green, either; no, this is Heart of Darkness Soup. And weâ€™re going to eat it.
2.) I think Iâ€™ve legitimately lost the twenty pounds now. The time I weighed myself after I was sick doesnâ€™t count, since I was just all dried out and as soon as I drank anything I got all big again like a Gro-Beast in water. But now the magic number is back, and it’s shown up on the scale for the past two mornings, so I believe this means, scientifically speaking, that Iâ€™ve been able to replicate the results of my very important research study called Let Me Stand on This Thing and See If Iâ€™m Still Fat. (Of course I am still fat. But these latest findings are promising.)
3.) Of course weâ€™re all horrified that Britney shaved her head. Why canâ€™t she just develop herself a cute little eating disorder like the other girls? Everyone knows thatâ€™s the only respectable way to freak the fuck out. It’s getting really hard to watch and I really hope someone will just step forward and shoot her with a tranquilizer dart and carry her off to someplace quiet.