Yes, I think Kirstie Alley looked great the other day. No, I still think she’s a disingenuous preening ass who loves to pretend all her publicized sashaying is for some greater good of womankind. But good for her for making it easier for older and heavier women to appear on Oprah dressed like bitter concubines. Next!
Today is good, what with all the unwanted pounds and Republicans and Federlines that we’re getting rid of. I weighed myself this morning, and while I’d hoped the results had been little better and that my metabolism had taken over both the House and the Senate of my Fat Cell Congress, I’ve still lost ten pounds in four weeks. Chris, who is a guy, has lost about ten times that in the same amount of time. I know human biology dictates this. I would kindly like to inform human biology that I’m on the Pill and don’t happen to have any needy little bitty babies depending on my body fat reserves to protect them from the cold prehistoric world. Is there any way I can just upgrade to a childless hussy biological model, where I can use my body fat reserves to absorb vodka? No?