Fish stories

This week was chock full of Busy. Next week I’ll be able to post more, but for now, please check out my latest NY Times True-Life Tale, which is about what an awful person I am. (Remember Bootsy? And how he wasn’t doing so well about a year ago? The moral of this tale is “don’t get veterinary advice from the internet.”) 


  1. linsee says

    when i was about 17 i decided that the “no pets” household rule needed to be broken, and rebelliously brought home a goldfish. i figured this was easy to take care of and cheap. well garth the fish did fine for about a week. then i noticed he was doing that float sideways thing that fish do before they die. i started freaking out and showed my dad before he was leaving for work. he told me that the fish wasnt getting enough oxygen in the water. so i got out a straw and decided to help garth. i did the only thing i thought made sense to me: i put the straw in the water and started blowing bubbles. lo and behold, that helped garth immediately. after a few minutes i realised if i stopped blowing that garth would do that side floaty thing again. so i kept blowing bubbles while i tried to make a fresh bowl of water for him. needless to say, i wasnt great at multitasking with these given tasks. i stopped blowing bubbles for only like a minute, i swear. and that’s all it took to send garth to his demise.

  2. Satya says

    If it makes you feel any better, over two years is actually a very long life for a Betta fish. They generally don’t live much over a year or so.
    I once rescued two goldfish from a fraternity party where they where dropping them in beer and SWALLOWING them. I named them Bert and Ernie. They only lived a year or so, but it had to have been a better ending than as frat boy vomit.

  3. says

    I went with the good old toilet flush. You don’t have to watch them suffer that way, and I always found it oddly fitting that they return to the watery depths of the ocean from whence their little fishy bodies came.

  4. says

    RIP, Bootsy, pickled like an onion.

    I appreciate your desire to give Bootsy a proper send-off – I’m sure I flushed my dead, neglected goldfish to his watery Valhalla when I was in elementary school. Poor Goldie.