There are two new entities in my life that have kept me from updating more lately. Both play songs on demand and both devote much of their existence to collecting huge encylopedic shitloads of recorded music. One is an iPod and one is a person. The iPod is a mini but the person is full size, and unlike an iPod, the person can probably be soaked in water, which I believe gives him somewhat of an advantage. That is all I will say for now. Please add these to the fifty-seven other reasons I have for not updating more.
Reason Fifty-Eight is that we went to the Body Worlds exhibit today and saw all kinds of freaky plastinated bodies all flayed out like meaty Transformers, as well as assorted parts and accessories. I never much wondered what male genitalia looked like without skin, but jeez, did I ever find out. (That link is totally safe for work, by the way, as are links to other things that came to mind). When I looked at even the most impressive bodies, the ones where the organs are arranaged in cunning Swiss Army formations, inevitably some thought like hey Nougat Nuts, put some pants on would cross my mind. I couldn’t help it. Maybe it’s because I used to go to the Museum of Science and Industry when I was a kid, so I associate the place with the train set and the Mold-A-Rama machine and other juvenile things.
We did not steal a fetus. But then, one of us couldn’t pass the cardiovascular display without shaking a fist and saying “Why, aorta…,” and really, that might be a crime as well. On our way out of the exhibit we tried to go over to sign the guestbooks, but it was crowded, and half a dozen boys were pressed against the counter where the guestbooks were. We got just close enough to see one of the pages, which said, in big loopy print letters:
I saw a lot of balls today. And nipples.
How life-affirming is that, I ask you?
In other news, Leigh Anne and I were interviewed for Red Eye this past week, and it might run as the cover story on Tuesday, though I have no idea who or what will be on the cover. Nobody took my photo, so we can only hope that the cover will be Leigh Anne holding up a Hitachi you-know-what. We’ll have to wait and see.
Whew! Thank goodness the full-sized one is submersible! What a pain in the ass that would be, if you couldn’t wash him, ever.
OK the Hitachi thing is something I bought from my therapist, who is a little Orthodox Jewish lady. I was six kinds of red. She asked me how I like it. I told her I have a new hobby.
The body worlds exhibit was truly fascinating, but what really got me was the “this is what your fat ass would look like if we injected you with plastic and sliced you up really good- fat is baaaaad” display right at the end. Not only did I just go through a few hours of seeing every angle imaginable of every configuration of the human body, but then they had to take a jab at my self image? WTF?
Anyway, now that you’ve joined the ranks of those who have an Ipod, might I recommend that you start up a podcast? All the cool kids are doing it and I’m sure your countless admirers would gladly download your casts as readily as we check out your blog. Just an idea…