On Friday I went to a recording studio down in Streeterville to record a short audio track from the book. I guess it’s for a promotional CD that they’ll be giving out to booksellers, so that they’ll get a chance to hear the sound of my voice. I read a five-and-a-half minute selection from the book, as well as a subliminal track where I whispered gentle suggestions to booksellers to blow their Harry Potter pre-ordering budgets* on my book instead. Or was I not supposed to mention that?
I have to admit I got way too excited when I saw who else had recorded at this place. When I went to the ladies room I wondered if Aaliyah had spent any time deep in thought in the wicker chair in the lounge area, and I got dizzy trying to use methods of probability to guess who might have used my bathroom stall before. Britney or Christina? Stall One or Stall Two? What are the odds they used the same one?
It was the first time I’d ever been professionally recorded, where I got to do several takes and go back whenever I stumbled over a word. After all this though, that chapter is now full of sentences I wish I’d never written. The phrase “when it was in all the papers” is harder to say than you think, especially when it’s in the middle of a longer sentence, and the context is such that I didn’t quite want to put the emphasis on the word all, so I’d say “when it was IN all the papers,” and wind up mumbling “when it was” and then I’d try again and completely lose my rhythm, which was very discouraging, because it meant I couldn’t even non-rap. Also the phrase “minutes extend” totally killed me. Somehow that combination of words produces so many tongue clicks I swear I could summon fruit bats. But I managed to get through the session.
*Okay, so speaking of huge book releases, apparently a couple months ago people in the book industry were getting worried that the new Harry Potter book would come out at the same time as the Da Vinci Code sequel, because supposedly there wouldn’t be enough printing capacity in North America to produce the gigantamungous first runs for both titles at once. It’s true! Or so I heard. Like, second hand. But still!
