Today I remembered that people under 30 have never experienced the pleasure of voting George Bush out of office, which is a shame, because voting George Bush out of office is a hell of a lot of fun. Sure, that was 1992, but there’s no reason why voting George Bush out of office shouldn’t continue to amuse, entertain and inspire us the way Baby Got Back still does.
Seriously. If we, the people, have the power to elevate Anna Nicole Smith to fame more than once, then by God we ought to be able to fire George Bush’s ass twice, right? (And I know it’s not the same George Bush, but Jesus Christ, you can barely recognize Anna Nicole these days.) Considering how very important it is to our country to vote George Bush out of office, I’m glad some of us got to do it once before, just for practice. It’s been twelve years, but I like the idea that maybe I have special Vote George Bush Out of Office muscles in my hands that will tingle and come alive as I punch the stylus EXTRA MOTHERFUCKING HARD through the ballot tomorrow. No matter what happens, I’ll be able to feel that.
Twelve years ago I was in college in Iowa City and I got up early before class to vote. The polling place was at Iowa City High School and even though it was nearly a mile from my house and in the opposite direction from campus I walked the whole way, because I was 21 and it was the first presidential election I could vote in. I probably wasn’t thinking so much about voting George Bush out of office as I was about Clinton, and the Equal Rights Amendment, and other things. My jacket wasn’t quite warm enough, and I could see my breath, and I was going through the residential part of town, along side streets where I rarely saw anyone else. It felt quiet and slightly furtive, but it’s how I voted a George Bush out of office. I wouldn’t quite believe it until I sat at the Deadwood with friends and watched the results come in.
The campus Republican kids had rallied to the chant of “Four more years!” but when Bush gave his concession speech on TV, a new chant started up at one of the booths and quickly spread throughout the bar: Two more months! we shouted. Two! More! Months!
I hope it happens again. I hope we get to celebrate. I wonder what kind of music we’ll play. Last time it was diva house. Maybe we could use some now. It’s cheesy, I know, but take my word for it: voting George Bush out of office is a blast. You really should try it.
