I hope that by now you’ll have read about how Pinky was a winning contestant on Remote Control.
Now I need to tell you about how that show played an indirect but pivotal role in helping me discover something about myself. Something VERY STUPID.
In 1989 Remote Control went on a college tour and they came to my school and sent out a call for contestants. Okay–no, I didn’t apply to be on the show. I wasn’t on the show. They had the show in Hancher Auditorium and I went to see it with two dull girls from my dorm floor; some frat guy was the winner. But the next day I read in the paper about the contestant selection process and how you had only a few seconds to give the producers a funny and convincing reason to put you on the show. And how one girl made the cut because she said, “Well, I can put my entire fist in my mouth.”
I read that and thought for a second, and then I put my fist in my mouth. I’d never done that before but clearly it was not a big deal. But that week people I knew kept mentioning the story of The Girl Who Could Put Her Fist In Her Mouth. “Like this?” I’d said. “OH MY GOD,” everyone else said.
I never actually met The Girl Who Could Put Her Fist In Her Mouth but a year later, when America’s Funniest People put out a local casting call, I read about her again. I figured if she could get so much mileage out of this stunt then maybe I could, too.
And I’m sorry to say I did. I’m sorry so many of you had to see me do it. You want to see me do it now?