By God, for once–and I hope this will be the only time–I actually have something to say about finding weird shit in my referral logs. It seems that there are an awful lot of people trying to look up the “Light as a feather, stiff as a board” incantation. I mean at least once a day I get this search (because the phrase is the page title of this entry) and my stats show it’s the most popular search string after “Weight Watchers Recipe Cards”.
What’s with this urgent need to practice hypnotic two-finger-lifting? Are there really that many slumber parties? And doesn’t looking this shit up on the internet kind of defeat the whole point of exploring the unknown? Seriously: this is occult wisdom that can only be passed down from the cousin of your friend Nicole’s sister who tried the spell on this one girl from Lyons Township who was so totally hypnotized everyone thought she was in a coma and Nicole swears to God she is not making this up. To learn it any other way is fucking blasphemy, I tell you.