Chicago Tribune: You’re making new friends this year and moving abut about with a prestigious crowd. Take care, this will be expensive. Don’t even try to keep up with them all. Go at an affordable pace.
Is it a bad sign that my birthday horoscope has a typo in it? Then again, perhaps I am destined to move a butt about with a prestigious crowd. My butt? Someone else’s? And this will cost money? We shall see!
Sun-Times, Holiday Mathis: IF MARCH 13 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: You’re definitely on the fast track this year. You dare to be creative with your work, which brings astounding results. Pool your remarkable resources with family, colleagues and friends in May. In June, you grant a loved one’s wishes, and your own become real soon after. You share a special connection with Virgo and Gemini people. Your lucky numbers are 7, 10, 4, 19 and 33.
I want to believe this is a good horoscope, but “astounding” can mean lots of things. So can “remarkable” and “special.” Nothing against you Virgos and Geminis, of course. Also, this past Saturday night Rachael and I celebrated our birthdays at St. Pauli Bar, and then Chris and I came home drunk and ate fake chicken nuggets while watching Sesame Street. Which was sponsored by THE NUMBER 4. And the letter X, which could very well REPRESENT the numbers 7, 10, 19, and 33, algebraically speaking. So there you go.
Sun-Times, Georgia Nicols: IF MARCH 13 IS YOUR BIRTHDAY: Actor William H. Macy (1950) shares your birthday today. You often feel that fate plays a role in your life. You have your own special brand of courage, which is why you are able to surmount major obstacles. Personal growth is important to you. You intend to become a better person in this lifetime. In the year ahead, you’ll have an opportunity to study and learn something valuable.
You know, Georgia Nicols, actor William H. Macy shares my birthday all the time and not just this day, so maybe you can stop bringing it up. Yes, Dana Delaney, too. I think the Sun-Times pays you the big astrologer bucks for you to study the STARS, Georgia Nicols, not IMDB. Honestly, I think you’ve been phoning it in for awhile now, and I just thought I’d tell you, because personal growth is important to me.
Lovepsychic.com: Happy Birthday Pisces: Pisces, can you spell f-a-n-a-s-t-i-c? Yes, 2007 will be a fantastic year! Anticipate your rewards to be many! With the prosperity magnet planet, Jupiter sitting comfortably at the highest point of your chart, youâ€™ll get everything you deserve and then some! The first area of return will be your career! Jupiter, joined by power-planet Pluto now in your career sector, brings a career change, a promotion or a job up grade! Donâ€™t worry about whether or not you can handle your new commitments. Discipline planet Saturn has been busy preparing you for bigger and better things, and youâ€™ll soon realize the importance of Saturnâ€™s tough tactics. Not only will work situations improve but so will your friendships. Expect yourself to be surrounded by some very interested and high level people by the end of the year. Relationship matters take on more importance. On Sept. 2nd, Saturn turns its gaze on your partnerships. Romance can be taken to a higher path. Pay careful attention to your intuition! Neptune allows you to tune into your inner voice. Uranus in your Sun sign attracts all sorts of opportunities your way! Not only will 2007 be fantastic, but it will also be a memorable year!
This one is from my favorite online horoscoper, who uses a lot of exclamation points! Love Psychic, can you spell e-m-p-h-a-t-i-c? Wait, don’t answer that! This horoscope is very specific but I have no idea what it actually means! But maybe I will a year from now!
Happy really-unseasonably-warm-day-in-Chicago, everyone! (Happy William H. Macy’s Birthday to the rest of you!) Love, me.
p.s. If you know of any other horoscopes for today, I’d dig seeing them, so feel free to link (or copy and paste them) in the comments.
p.p.s. This week I remembered that last year I copied and pasted my 2006 birthday horoscopes and saved it as a blog draft entry. (Yeah, somehow I’m always busy around my birthday; there’s always a BUST column deadline and other stuff.) Anyway, I’ll post the retro horoscopes sometime soon to see how true they were.