Four jobs I’ve had:
- Server at university student union coffee stand. Not a “barista.” Nobody called us that back then. No lattes, either, though sometimes people would come up and ask for one and we’d make fun of them after they left.
- Seasonal sales clerk at Marshall Field’s. When we’d have to leave the salesfloor to go to the bathroom, we had to say to our co-workers, “I’m going to Twenty-Six.” Except I don’t remember what the number was, but whatever the case, you’d say it in order to sound like you were going to some secret department to do fabulously expensive shoe inventory. And not just peeing.
- Essay test grader at ACT. Another seasonal job. It was a lot like this, actually.
- College creative writing instructor. I was twenty-three. My students were mostly twenty-one. You can imagine how this went. I made them read that Cynthia Ozick story about the shawl, the dead baby, and the Holocaust, and they made me read their stories about drunk driving tragedies, space zombies, and bestiality.
Four movies I can watch over and over:
- Bring It On, because this is not a democracy, it’s a cheerocracy.
- Singin’ in the Rain, which is not just a musical, it’s an amazing spectacular Hollywood circle-jerk of a movie.
- Fitzcarraldo, which I’ve only seen once, but come on! They drag a steamboat over a mountain! For real!
- Airplane!
Four places I’ve lived:
- Oak Park, Illinois.
- A crumbling old house in Iowa City, Iowa.
- Another crumbling old house in Iowa City, Iowa.
- Chicago, Illinois.
Four TV shows I love I’ve loved:
(What’s with the present tense here, silly meme?)
- That’s Incredible!
- St. Elsewhere
- Twin Peaks
- Cheers, the Shelley Long era
Four places I’ve vacationed:
- Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
- Vancouver, Canada.
- Somewhere In Jamaica That Requried Us to Drive Two Hours From the Airport On The Wrong Side Of the Road Late At Night And We Almost Hit A Goat And I Cried In the Back Seat.
- Florida.
Four of my favorite dishes:
- Pad Kee Mao
- Macaroni and Cheese
- New York-style slices
- Feta and tomato omelets
Four sites I visit daily:
- Gapers Block
- My Kinja digest
- MySpace.com, God help me.
- Flickr
Four places I would rather be right now:
- Lake Michigan, because then I would be like, “Hey you! I’m a Great Lake! Splish splash, suckas!” and get to hang out with the U.P.
- Or I could be the Mall of America and be all, “Kiss my ass! I’ve got three roller coasters in my belly! A wedding chapel! An aquarium!”
- Ooh, what if I was Google? Does that count as a place? How would that work?
- Maybe I’m not understanding the question right.
I was tagged by Kevin. Blame him.
Did you cry because you almost hit the goat, or because you had to drive on the wrong side of the road? Or were you shedding tears over the number of Trustafarians you WEREN’T almost running over?
I loved freakin “That’s Incredible”.. That Ted Davis.. Man what a polyester unmovable hair hottie,
I adore That’s Incredible! When I was a kid I would watch it, and then become obsessed with spontaneous combustion. How would you know it was happening? Would there be any warning, like a tingly warmth before you just burst into flames???
Yeah for hangin’ with ‘da UP’, eh! I “heart” Yoopers! Oh wait a minute, I guess I am one. Except that I live in Alaska now…oh well.
4 Movies:
Fitzcarraldo – Yes
Airplane – Yes
+ Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
+ My Cousin Vinny
I don’t think I could stand being a “Barista”, I didn’t even know what it was for a long time. To me it sounded like some sort of dance where you would shake your butt alot and occasionally stop to shout “BARISTA!”. That WOULD be a lot more fun than serving ridiculously complicated coffe drinks though.
BARISTA!
Wait, there’s a wedding chapel at the Mall of America? “Come to our wedding, there’s Orange Julius and soft pretzels for everybody afterwards!” Ha!
I always knew that no matter how much you kicked ass, there was a higher level of asskicking you had transcended to that I had yet to discover. The inclusion of Twin Peaks on your list of shows has now aided and abetted in that discovery.
Oh, the funny that is Bring It On. You’re totally the poo, Wendy!
How could you possibly like Fitzcarraldo? I was made to sit through it by a horrible librarian looking professor in a media arts class and could’t stand it.
Twin Peaks. Wow. I obsessed over that show waaay too much. I even visited Snoqualmie Falls, Washington, where some scenes were filmed. I got a souvenier sweatshirt with peaks placed appropriately.
When I worked on set we used to say “10-900” for going to the bathroom, or “10-9.” Then if they were rolling sound, we’d make a fist with one hand and put two fingers over it with the other hand like a little hand person sitting on a toilet. I don’t know why we used the euphamism for the bathroom over the walkie talkie, because often times, (usually the grips) would leave their walkie open when they were in the bathroom, and… let us hear everything.
It takes a certain sense of humour to realize that Bring It On is a fantastically funny movie. Cheers for that.
During winter breaks from college, I worked at HoneyBaked Ham, where they increase their staff exponentially to accomodate the seasonal ham demand. Say those last 2 words out loud. Isn’t that nice?
I made and delivered coffee to the people who stood in a block-long line waiting for their ham in the Minneapolis winter. And I endured the joke that very third person would make, asking if I added whiskey to the coffee. They were delirious from the cold so I just smiled and fake-laughed.
I also “showed hams.” This involved unwrapping the ham so the customer could take a gander at it before purchasing. All time low: the woman who made me bring her 5 different hams in a futile search for one that was “less fatty.” Internal dialogue: “This ain’t Tofurkey, lady…it’s HAM! That line about “the other white meat” is an advertising ploy.”
A college job like that propells you all the way through grad school just so you won’t have to do that for a living.
Do we really have a wedding chapel at the Mall of America? I live like 10 minutes away and this is news to me (probably because I havne’t been there in about 10 years).
~J
I’m glad to read that I’m not the only Chicagoan who prefers a new york style slice – wait… Is that legal within the city limits? The Giordano’s police aren’t going to be banging on my door are they?
“That’s alright, that’s okay, you’re going to pump our gas someday.”
I love the fact that I am not the only 30 something female who finds Bring It On funny. This list rocks. How can I get tagged?
I haven’t thought about Fitzcarraldo in a long time! Normally, I’m dissapointed and lulled into dumbness when I turn on the TV with nothing in particular to watch, but I happened upon that one day and was happy. It remined me that, good or bad, effort is sometimes reason alone, something very human.
I’ve never seen “Bring it On” (I guess I must), and although “Twin Peaks” is indeed wonderful, I’m psyched that I get to be the first to point out how awesome it is that you answered that “four places” question in a way that it absolutely needed to be answered and yet has not in the million and one times I’ve read that meme in the past couple months. I mean, even by the rest of the upper echelon of bloggers who either have or will very soon publish books!!!! Go Wendy!!! God. I feel so unoriginal. And yet inspired. Thanks. : ) (PS: I’m tagging myself. Finally. I’ve seen this everywhere, but yours sent me over the edge.)
I’ve been reading your blog for a while it seems and never made a comment. Anyhow, this one particular entry is my favorite. Lots of love, – Lacey
Tamara –
Hahahaha!!! Holding the walkie button down while one pees is still the best joke ever!
Out here, though, we call it “10-100” if it’s #1, and “10-200” if it’s a #2.
“10-200” implying, of course, that one is going to be in the bathroom for a while.