You don’t even want to know how wiggy I got when a friend referred me to this StitchGuide site, which features cunning little Quicktime videos demonstrating various knitting stitches. I could lie to you and tell you that I like watching these clips because they’re helpful. However, the truth is that I do not view them for educational purposes: I watch them because, well, they sort of excite me. I mean when I first clicked on this one, I got this little mental tingle, like, “Yeah! That’s it! Just like that! Yeah!” I played it a couple more times and I swear I thought, “I can’t wait to go home and do that to some YARN.” This is pure stitch-on-stitch action and I can’t get enough.
And come on: look at the nails on those hands. Do I not have a point? While I don’t mean to cast skanky aspersions on the skilled and likely very wholesome owner of those hands, you usually don’t see nails like that onscreen unless they’re pressed into Ron Jeremy’s ass cheeks. However the lighting in these videos is very nice: soft and tasteful, like Cinemax.
I’m not so much into this stuff. I don’t know, it just looks uncomfortable. I’d want to use a safe word.
I’m not saying I’m freaky or anything. But you can’t ignore the fact that the word “knit” is “kink” spelled, you know, backwards and wrong. SO WRONG IT’S RIGHT, BABY. So wrong it’s right.