Joe Millionaire’s Ass
I mean, have you seen it? Did you see it on him last week? When he was standing at the sink? Did you see?
I am almost too shy to discuss it. For example, I will not try to tell you about the underwear, because that makes me bashful. I am embarrassed, frankly. It’s usually not like this with me and asses.
But there it was. I had no idea. I’d programmed my TiVo to tape the show, and went for days and days without even knowing it existed. I mean of course it had to exist, because then Joe would look weird without it, but you know. But how patiently it waited for me to see it. Finally, on Thursday I watched the scene in which it appears. I sat there listening to Joe’s goofy voice-over commentary about what the woman of his dreams would be like and blah blah blah. Suddenly I thought what was that!? and I had to rewind. I rewound. I saw it. I heard myself make a tiny, involuntary, almost wounded-sounding cry. It was incandescent in its shorts. It was astonishing.